Earl's Death

I have something I wish to share: I have been blessed this week – I am each week, but this week was special. My cousin-in-law died on Monday and I was able to be part of his death process – how amazing. He was 82 years old and had been preparing for his death for several months now even though there was really no obvious reason (other than his age) to do so. He was actually fairly healthy, but his eating habits changed (he didn’t really want to eat or drink much) and he began organizing and preparing his wife for the time when he was no longer with his family - he even had her writing lists of where things were, etc. They had preplanned the after-death arrangements a short time ago. He had lost a great deal of weight and developed a cough – the only signs of any problems - and early Sunday morning he began to have difficulty breathing. His wife (my cousin) took him to the ER. I went down to visit and I saw such fear in his eyes. We were able to talk about it and I felt he heard “there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Early Monday morning I got the call he was in the ICU. I went to the hospital and found him alert, eating jello, and speaking very clearly. The fear I had seen the day before had disappeared. He had done his work over night. Just before I arrived, he had told his wife she could not leave, but the moment I walked into the room he asked if I could take her home for lunch with their son who needed her. I, of course, agreed. She told him she’d be back later and as I left, he took my hand and he said, “You will take care of her.” I assured him that I would. Shortly after we left, we discussed the idea that he may choose to die while she was gone, to die alone – he was a very private person. And, as he would have it, he died peacefully in his sleep a few minutes later. He died with great dignity and awareness. I am so grateful that I could be part of such a powerful experience. Much love to Earl as he makes his transition and to Janet, David, Lucinda, and Patti who remain.